"Name tags, did everyone get their name tags? I'd like to welcome you all here tonight. Before we get started with the keynote speaker there's just a few orders of business to take care of. You will have been asked to fill out a short personal survey with your registration packet. We're going to come around and collect those now. Gentleman in the green shirt -- yes, you, thank you -- please stand and come to the front. This won't take but a moment. Thank you for helping us out. Ladies and gentlemen, this fellow will be representing all of you as our speaker demonstrates his techniques for hypnosis and spiritual healing on the path to a better life. Welcome, all the way from Tel Aviv, the famous Professor _______!"